WOmen SAFety Tip

Wosaf

Be Alert . Be Aware . Be Safe .

The recent abominable incident in the land of ‘bhadralok’ wherein a four year old student was molested, soon followed by an alleged incident of molestation in air of a public figure. It brought to fore, certain indigestible truths. It is not the first time and definitely not the last time that we read about such incidents. And sadly, such incidents happen across the world and not unique to our country/ culture. Fact is

One. The societal standards have dropped. Pedophiles exist.

Two. Nobody seems to be safe. It’s not age. It’s not caste. It’s not your status. It’s not your gender. Anybody could be a victim.

Three. No point pointing fingers and passing the buck. WE, as a society have failed because the perpetrators have been thrown up by our society/ societal standards and by accepting such reprehensible acts as routine.

How do WE take care of ourselves. In my WOSAF sessions, I share knowledge gained over 25 years in the uniform to protect oneself. Yes, I believe, Offence is the best Defence. But how do you protect a child?

For ALL the Parents out there; here are some tips which should help protect YOUr child.

One. Buddy System. Follow this time tested practice from the Indian Army. Every child must have a buddy. Everywhere he/she goes, the buddy goes. If required, have different sets of buddies; one in school, one in the carpool/ bus, one in the society/ playground. Thus, when ‘bulbuli goes to the washroom, chulbuli too accompanies her’. The perpetrator is deterred. Also Chulbuli can shout, bring help. These should be taught to every child in school/ homes.

Two. Educate the child about ‘good touch and bad touch’. No secrets. Pay special attention to his/her behaviour. The child clamps up and goes into a shell, should some untoward incident happen. Communicate freely with the child.

Three. Believe the child. Take immediate steps to address the issue. It’s better to be suspicious now than regret later. Under no circumstance should the child be on a one-on-one session with anybody.

Four. When the child feels uncomfortable, they should be taught to ‘shout’. Scream!! Raise hell. Anything to attract attention. True for his/her friend in need of help too!

Five. Build trust with your child and keep no secrets. They are taught to share everything, good or bad. It is also the response of the parents that’ll be the cue the child takes for sharing. So Believe and build trust. And remember, it’s not the child’s fault. Period.

Six. The sharing should NOT be restricted to only unknown people but could be with known people too!!

Protect and nurture the innocence of the child BUT appraise them about ‘safety’ of their bodies and how some people would want to harm them. Presence of mind is good under these circumstances but absence of body is better. Avoid situations which could lead to/ offer perpetrators any chance for such disgraceful acts.

Raise your voice. Raise your concern. Raise your awareness.

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Motivation

 

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Early morning Bicycle Rides:     50+ kms

The instant that this word is read, “Motivation”, a number of you automatically start wondering what is being said/ written/ same ol’ junk. I know, this word has that effect and has been flogged so much that there is a ‘brain-fade’ on reading ‘motivation’.

A number of you, have asked me this query, “Sir, What keeps you going?” Day in and Day out … how do you sustain this energy? What drives you? or words to that effect. I did some introspection and have come up with some thoughts on .. em.. ahem .. ahem … Motivation. What keeps you Motivated? How do you get the energy to repeatedly do the same task over and over again? What urges you to go to the office on a Monday morning?

  1. Who are you doing this for? If you, for any reason, start questioning and wonder ‘What is this all about?’; its time you call it quits. This one question should be crystal clear. I’m doing this for … myself? my parents? our society? community? My boss? Now the last answer will irk you. If you’re only working for the boss – well soon your motivation will be rock bottom.
  2. What is my Daily Goal? How do I see my day panning out? Is there a ‘high’ I’ll get on completion of my task? What will I be doing today? Is it exciting enough? OR what do I need to complete today? Completion of a set goal gives a sense of satisfaction, a sense of achievement.
  3. Motivation gives you +ve strokes. Therefore, make things happen, so that you keep getting the high. Remember, Success is a drug. Once you get addicted, you will not settle for anything less. Get into the habit of success. See your results flow. This will keep you motivated.
  4. Keep Learning. Knowledge is power. It is true. The more you know, the more you grow. Your motto should be: What will I learn new today? “Learners are Earners”. It is knowledge that drives this economy. Keep learning.
  5. Hangout with Superstars. Your IQ is the sum total of your five closest friends. Look at them closely. Winners, invariably, hangout with superstars. Read about them. Follow them and be-friend them. Get to know their secret of success.
  6. Be your own coach. Nobody knows YOU better than YOU. You’ve done your SWOT. You know where to pitch in and where you need to work on. Address these issues. Explore opportunities and be prepared.

I always maintain – YOU gotta love what you’re doing. YOU made the choice in the first place, right? If not, start loving what you do. Better get going. Your love, passion and commitment show through in your quality of work. Your zeal, your enthusiasm .. all are reflected in the work. Without YOUR heart in it … it’ll always be Just a Job.

Passionate Prabir.

WOSAF – Prevent!

Wosaf

How can I ensure WOSAF?

All the atrocities that get reported and all the actions that are taken post incident, somehow feels like ‘closing the stable doors after the horses have bolted’. Why don’t we initiate steps to prevent the occurrence of such incidents. A number of YOU’ve queried what could be some possible steps. Well let me enumerate some of the steps.

Report photos that exploit girls/ YOUng women, when YOU seen them on social media sites like fb/ insta. Raise YOUr voice and don’t have the ‘chalta hai’ attitude. This perpetrates crimes/ atrocities.

Be media literate & critical of what YOU see. Otherwise it becomes ‘normal’ and we get desensitized.  The media regularly uses images of violence against women and objectifies them. If YOU see ad ad/ commercial that is sexist/ degrading towards women – write/ email the company; don’t buy their products.

Interrupt sexist/ homophobic and transphobic language. Remember, words are powerful, especially when spoken by people who have power over others. Gendered name calling and sends a message that girls/ women are less than human. When they are seen as inferior, it becomes easier to treat them with less respect.

Interrupt abuse if YOU see something. If YOU’re at a party and your intoxicated friend is being led away by guys. Stop and help her get home.

Stop street harassment and don’t engage in any form of sexual harassment, such as catcalling and unwanted touching. And don’t let your friends and peers engage in such behaviour either. Don’t look the other way.

Stop victim blaming for how they choose to dress or judge their behaviour. Violence can’t be prevented through limiting the freedom of girls. This only allows the violence to continue because perpetrators become invisible and sadly those who witness remain silent.

Stop stereotyping men’s and women’s roles as they affect decisions in a relationship. YOU don’t have to prove yourself. YOU don’t become small when you help YOUr better half in sharing chores at home.

Remember violence is a choice, a choice that YOU make. Don’t make excuses for friends and peers who are violent. Stop supporting the notion that violence is due to mental illness or lack of anger management skills, alcohol or drugs.

Come up with an action plan for any situation. How would YOU react should people you know/ strangers are being abusive/ sexist. It is easier to interrupt ans stop abuse when YOU know what to do/ say. Stand up!!!

STOP using social media to proliferate jokes/ forwards demeaning women. Social media has an empowering effect. YOU can spread the word. When a friend/ peer tells a joke about girls/ women, say YOU don’t find it funny and let them know it is NOT okay.

Because IT IS NOT OKAY. We can make this world a better place to live for our Mothers, Sisters, Wives, Daughters … Stop and THINK.

Unbreakable Resolve – Women

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Durga has been a warrior goddess: unmatched resolve, impassable, inaccessible, invincible, unassailable

My 25 years in the uniform has instilled in me a basic military tactics. ‘Offence is the only form of Defence’. In all my sessions on WOSAF (WOmen SAFety), I harp on this fact and share this fundamental rule. God forbid, you’re in a situation, where YOU need to act – Don’t wait for any opportune time … NOW is the time; always. YOUr mind should always be on the ‘Hunter’ mode – looking for options, seeking out escape routes, planning your next step ..

For a female, fighting back is the ultimate reversal. You become the huntress not the hunted, the predator not prey. When the only way out is through, you cannot just defend–you have to counter attack. There’s little to compare this to: YOU trade in your polite-self for your animal-self; you issue the ‘sic’ command and give YOUrself a carte blanche to go for the jugular. And remember offence is the only form of defence.

Always remember: FIGHTING BACK IS A LAST RESORT when nothing else will do. Your goal is YOUr safety, to escape. That said, a pumped up aggressor can withstand A LOT of punishment, so get your mojo in gear and be prepared to do what it takes to breakaway. Whatever it takes.

Never give up hope OR let futility set in. Futility is an enemy of survival; it’s enables paralysis. Even in a worst case scenario, an assailant or criminal may let his guard down (especially when he thinks he’s already won), presenting lucky breaks and opportunities to make your move and get away. Focus. Collect yourself. Stay on the hunt. YOUr body is the weapon. YOUr mind is the weapon. Surprise is YOUr ally.

Overcome the fear of injury. Always assess your situation, environment and skills.  Do not allow yourself to be held hostage by this fear. Remember: adrenaline is a wonder drug. It addition to supercharging the body it helps staves off pain. Use the environment: Can I head butt him on counter-tops, stairwells, hard surfaces or shove a person into walls/ hard ground? Be aggressive. Manhandle! Drop your center of gravity, widen your base, slink down into your hips and throw him away. Remember the last move of Dangal; the last bout – ‘dikhao kuchh aur karo kucch’. Feints . Duck . Ruse . Distract . Fake . Sham . Trick . Stall .

Attack the hands. Busting the hand(s) with a stick-like weapon or by slamming something on it can disable your attacker’s primary weapon: hands.  Knees could be broken with little force from the ‘wrong’ direction. All the joints are thus susceptible to slight pressure. Go for it.

Remember – Attack is the only form of Defence.

 

It’s OK to be Ignorant ..

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Not to Know is Bad. Not to Wish to Know is worse. – African Proverb

Really? We have a fear of appearing stupid. So we try to act like we know what we’re doing. This is more so at work, even when we don’t have a clue. The Noah’s Ark was made by amateurs; The Titanic by professionals.

The problem, therefore isn’t about appearing stupid. The problem is BEING stupid. The great Noble Laureate Albert Einstein said, “Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the Universe.”

Ignorance is the absence of knowledge. It can be fixed. Stupidity on the other hand, is not even knowing what you don’t know. Go get some knowledge, fill the void, and the problem is solved. I oft repeat: Knowledge is the ONE key to Confidence. Therefore, Research, Read, Absorb, Test, Validate .. Do what ever it takes to seek knowledge. That is YOUr only salvation. That is YOUr only redemption. That is YOUr only deliverance.

If YOU are ignorant, as the Wright Brothers were, you don’t understand why birds fly and humans cannot. So, YOU study the elements of aerodynamics, wind resistance, acceleration, lift, drag, thrust and fill the void with knowledge. The Result?

The development of the airplane, from propellers to jets to the man on the moon. Airlines, airports, runways, ATCs, flight attendants, baggage handlers, metal detectors, air sickness bags, to miniature liquor bottles. A whole new industry; in fact the largest industry in the history of the world. BUT if YOU are stupid, you flap your arms and crash to earth.

Remember, Ignorance is temporary, Stupidity is forever. The choice is YOUrs.

Ignorance-rollover

Knowledge is Power!!!

Bengaluru – Conundrum

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Conundrum called Bengaluru: The IT Capital

02 Sep. My flight was at 1000 h. Reporting time 0920 h. Through the night, there was no respite from the rains. The rain-gods were more than kind to ‘love’ for Bengaloorians. Bannerghatta road, is located in a low lying area. I’d experienced a fateful night during my IIM days, when my two wheeler got submerged and I’d to abandon it; only to recover it the next day.

After my bittersweet experience of 01 Sep, I’d planned to start early.

0530 h. Say my ‘good-byes’ to my cozy room.                                                                                   0540 h. Uber refuses to respond.                                                                                                         0547 h. Ola is in “high demand” and not available. Somewhere, the ominous bells were going berserk.                                                                                                                                         0552 h. Angel in form of man advices me, to pick up my luggage and wait at the main road, next to the Security Room. He has just returned from the airport and all the roads leading up to our complex was under water. A submarine was sighted in the near vicinity, which he didn’t vouch for. The road had turned into a river.

0600 h. Apprehensively moved to the main road; lock, stock and two smoking barrels. An umbrella tried to prevent the downpour from wetting me. It was losing badly aka the Arsenal match against Liverpool last Sunday.

0613 h. I encounter an Angry Bird. The driver was in a great hurry. Archimedes Principle states that the force exerted on a body immersed in a fluid, whether fully or partially submerged, is equal to the weight of the fluid that it displaces. Standing by the road side the displaced fluid submerged me till the waist. But it helped me now to firm my resolve to wade through waist deep water, with my suitcase atop my head.

0633 h. A good samaritan, in the form of a local bus driver, gives me a lift. He drops me at Jayanagar, 4th Block. Informs me that Volvo for airport are available here. The rains applaud.

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9 3/4 Platform: Volvo arrives here

0719 h. A volvo for the airport materializes aka Harry Potter’s platform 9 3/4.

0859 h. Land Ahoy! Voila! The Kempagowda International Airport is beckoning. I’m on time for a change. A first of its kind. 

I would like to thank all the participants who helped me in this saga, the spoken, unspoken, the visible and the invisible, who made my Bengaluru trip so momentous. Phewww!!

 

Bengaluru: Love it or Hate it – But you can’t Ignore it

India Bangalore

Bengaluru: The IT/ITES Capital of the World

Having been invited as Keynote Speaker at the International Summit of Software Testers organized by STepIN Forum at Bengaluru on Sep 01,2017 (the second day of the conference). The venue for the conference was at Hotel Park Plaza, Marathahalli on the outer ring road. I reached on Aug 31 and settled down at Mantri Elite, Bannerghatta Road.

Knowing my penchant for cutting things fine, my better half advised (instructed?) me to leave early. My talk was at 1000 h and the days proceedings were to commence at 0900 h.

0730 h. Step out of elevator on ground floor. Intermittent drizzle.                                             0742 h. Book an Uber. Estimated time of arrival 03 minutes.                                                       0745 h. Reach the gate of the complex. Await Uber.                                                                       0800 h. Uber not in sight. Call the driver. He speaks to me in ‘greek’. I put him through to the security people, who converse in ‘greek’. They inform me, another five minutes he should be here.

0815 h. No Uber. [My numerous calls to the driver Santhosh (96.868.006.16) are all unanswered].                                                                                                                                         0816 h. Cancel Uber. Try to book again but then they are too busy charging me for cancelling a service they failed to provide.                                                                                         0818 h. Tried booking Ola who are in ‘Very High Demand’. The green circle completes and informs me that no Ola is around. Local people tell me that ‘autos’ will not go to Outer Ring Road. Stuck.

0822 h. Persuade an auto to take me for an exorbitant price though.                                      

0832 h. Auto malfunctions and refuses to start. I’m in middle of a traffic jam, in no man’s land. The driver is profusely apologising for something which has never happened earlier. I’m somewhere around BTM layout.

0835 h. I request an ‘angel’ in a motor bike to drop me. And he quips, “Sheuure Sir, No Problem”. I straddle the bike (the last I sat on a bike must’ve been 1948!!). Angel zips along the highway, weaving his way through very heavy traffic. He is good. Takes a couple of service roads. Safely he drops me at the Venue site. The light drizzle is  .. well.

0910 h. I walk into Hotel Park Plaza. Freshen up.

1010 h. My session starts on clock-work precision. Humbled by the appreciation and standing ovation. Grateful that I could Impact, Ignite and Inspire the community of Software Testers. A number of selfies later. Could sit down and analyse the events of the day.

 

Can I Improve my Creativity and Clarity

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Let YOUR subconscious work for YOU.

A simple answer would be YES YOU CAN.

But then things in life are not that simple. They may be easy but not simple. Let me explain.

 

“YOUr subconscious mind works continuously while YOUre awake, and while YOU sleep”. – Napoleon Hill

Understand a fact; YOUr subconscious mind never sleeps. At each moment it’s busy controlling your body temperature, your breathing, blood circulation, digestion and millions of other things. It controls all your vital processes.

Also, what happens at your subconscious, also reflects (and controls) your conscious mind. In effect, YOUr subconscious becomes YOUr reality. Therefore, it’s important to check what goes into your subconscious.

 

“The subconscious mind will translate into its physical equivalent, by the most direct and practical method available”. – Napoleon Hill

YOUr goal therefore is to control YOUr subconscious or control it, feed it with what you want. Let it work for you and not against YOU. Therefore, before YOU go to bed. Follow this regime religiously.

 

+ Switch off your TV (or any other program that you were watching.) Switch off your mobile (or at the least, put it in silent mode and stop checking for updates). Sit down comfortably at a place (in YOUr house) where there is absolute silence/ quiet/ least amount of disturbance. Sit quietly for 5-10 minutes. Take a pen and write down what YOU want. More specific you are, the better it is. Don’t write things like, “I want happiness”.  Define it. “I want money”. Hello … are you listening. Be Specific. Now your subconscious gets to work.

 

80 percent of people between the ages of 15-45, check their smartphones within 15 minutes of waking up. Research confirms that the brain (pre-frontal cortex), is the most active and readily creative immediately following your sleep. Through the night, your subconscious has worked and brought things to the fore.

+ The creative people (and most of the successful people), check on the performance of the task they had allotted to the subconscious. Take a journal and note down the points that have come about. (With practice, this skill set can be honed! It gets better with time, just like anything; The more you practice, the better you get). With time the ideas that start flowing, the clarity that you are seeking; all the answers come to YOU.

Your mental image, visualisation and subconscious translates into reality. Have Faith. Have the Belief.

You’re the Master of YOUR destiny. This simple routine will assist YOU in fulfilling your dreams. Chalk out a plan and move towards fulfilling it.

 

THINK !!!

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Our Capacity to ‘THINK’ makes us Humans

It has become a ‘fashion statement’ to sham India for all its shortcomings. Poverty, corruption, Women Safety and so forth.

Remember, India has Poverty, India is NOT poor. It has corruption as an issue, India is NOT corrupt. When you have a challenge, you can address it. You need see it clearly. A number of YOU tell me about the issues that we have. Yes, we have issues. And so does the rest of the world. When we have an issue, we need to sit down, workout a strategy to address it. And remember, nobody from any other part of the world can take it up as a cause. Its our problem – we have to solve it. Period. Koi Mr. India nahin ane wala hai, Mein hi Mr. India Hoon!!!

And of course remember, “Koi Desh Perfect nahin hota; usse Perfect banana padta hai”. It is in our interest that we work towards making our Great Nation, Greater!!!

Don’t work against it … Work for it. So what do we do? WE THE People …. The YOUth.

Keep a tab. YOU may not enter politics, BUT keep a tab on the activities of the politicians. Make your vote count. Vote. Make a conscious choice. Make a difference.

Take onus of your actions. THINK before you do something even as mundane as watching a movie. Because, inadvertently, YOU are sending the film makers a message.

YOUr watching an item number, tells the movie makers this is what YOU want. Titillation. What do they do? They give YOU more. If the women are being ‘itemised’, can we blame anyone else? NO. We told them that this is acceptable and WE WANT MORE. They’ll dish out more. 5 years/ 10 years down the line, if YOUr daughter is unsafe on the roads .. YOU have perpetuated the crime. Women Safety is in YOUr hands. Yes, even watching a movie which dishes out item numbers, and YOU watching it is perpetrating crime against women.

WOMAN-SAFE

Make India Safe for Women

Think! This is YOUr pre-frontal cortex of the brain. The Thinking brain. Use it. For every little action of YOUrs there is a repercussion. YOU pay a price.

Think.

On this Independence Day take a pledge … TO THINK!

Indispensability

Charles-de-Gaulle-Quote-The-graveyards-are-full-of-indispensable

Are you Indispensable??

Sometime when you are feeling important, sometime when your ego is in bloom,

Sometime when you take it for granted you are the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that you are going would leave an unfillable hole.

Just follow these instructions and see how it humbles your soul,

Take a bucket fill it with water, put your hand in it upto your wrist

Pull it out and the hole that is remaining in the measure of how much you are being missed.

You can stir up the water galore but stop and you will find in a minute that it looks quite the same as before.

The marvel in this quaint example is do the best that you can ….

… Be proud of yourself but remember there is no indispensable man.