Trust: is this an alien word?


During all my interactions, I keep harping on the fact, that if you don’t have belief in yourself, how do you expect the other person to believe you? Have belief in you. Sir, er, I’m not confident that I can do the job, but please Sir, give me the job? Hullo, it doesn’t work that way.

Similarly, TRUST, if you don’t trust people, expect not to be trusted. Trust is built over a period of time and once broken, takes immense effort to mend. Communicating in an environment of no trust is impossible. Even if communication is clear and precise, people will always look for hidden meanings and agendas. But when there’s high trust, communication is easy and instantaneous. Mistakes hardly matter, because people trust you: “Don’t worry about it. I understand.” Enduring trust in a relationship cannot be faked and is rarely produced by a dramatic, one-time effort. It’s the fruit of regular actions inspired by conscience. The interactions we make have a profound impact on the level of trust in any relationship.

Interactions include: a. Seek First to Understand. We don’t even know the other person unless we understand that person from his or her frame of reference. b. Make and Keep Promises. Nothing destroys trust faster than breaking a promise. c. Honesty and Integrity. If we can put our integrity and our relationship with another person above our pride and natural desires to hide our mistakes and avoid embarrassment, we can form powerful bonds of trust. d. Kindnesses and Courtesies. Everyone has feelings. Small courtesies and kindnesses can yield huge dividends. People see through superficial techniques; they know when they’re being manipulated. True kindness comes from a deep character. e. Thinking Win-Win or No Deal. The key to breaking out of the “win/lose” mind-set is to settle on championing the other party’s win as much as your own. This requires courage, abundant thinking and great creativity. f. Clarifying Expectations. Most communication breakdowns originate with ambiguous or unfulfilled expectations about who is to do what and how goals are prioritized. g. Being Loyal to Those Not Present. This is one of the highest tests of both character and the depth of bonding in a relationship. When everyone seems to be bad-mouthing someone who isn’t there. h. Apologizing. To learn to say “I was wrong” or “I was on an ego trip. I overreacted,” and then to live accordingly, is one of the most powerful deposits you can make. i. Giving and Receiving Feedback. Giving negative feedback is one of the most difficult communication tasks. Many people have serious blind spots they never confront, because no one knows how to give them feedback. To give feedback, describe your feelings, your concerns or your perceptions of what happened. Don’t accuse, judge or label the other. He or she may then become open to information about a blind spot without feeling threatened. When receiving feedback, express gratitude for it, however much it may hurt. Our sense of worth is intrinsic and doesn’t come from a particular weakness or behavioral pattern. j. Forgiving. True forgiveness involves letting go and moving on. We all make mistakes. We need to forgive ourselves and others. It’s better to focus on our own mistakes and ask forgiveness than to dwell on other people’s offenses, wait for them to ask forgiveness first, or give it begrudgingly if they do. When you forgive, when you refuse to bear a grudge, you actually take away another person’s power over your life.

TRUST within organizations help healthy inter personal relations. Dependence of co-workers improves and productivity improves. The office environment is healthy and there is growth as an individual and organization. Trust is the key word which gets people to commit and take risks. “I trust you” are the soothing words every human being yearns to hear.


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