2018 August – Col Sengupta

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I dunno ’bout you, but very early in life, being from a boarding school, I got influenced with the uniformed people around us. The first competitive exam and shortly, I was donning the uniform. A number of YOU’ve asked me whether, I always wanted to be in the uniform? In hindsight, I would say, Y . E . S . I wouldn’t trade that for anything else.

Why do you all put off what you want to become?

You Already Know what YOU want to BE

A number of YOU do say, “I don’t know what to do with my life!” But deep down, you do know, ’cause with slight probing, the answer is out! YOU just don’t know it yet, OR are blind to it with excuses, rationalization, some ifs and more buts! So the problem isn’t you not knowing what to do, but something else.

Haunted by YOUr Parents’ Wishes for YOU

Your parents leave a huge imprint on your formative minds and project themselves onto you. At times, even fulfilling their unfulfilled dreams (aka Dangal). But, at times, their aspirations for YOU might not have anything to do with YOU. “I’m different!”

In “The Way of the Superior Man” (author David Deida) says “live like your father is dead.” Until you let go of your parents’ expectations for you and do what you want to do. There’s a huge difference between physically and psychologically leaving the nest. Once you accomplish both, you’re free to do what you want.

YOU Don’t Think YOU can pull it Off

If YOU were guaranteed to succeed in whatever you did, I bet you’d suddenly know what to do with your life. Our biggest problem isn’t a lack of knowledge about ourselves. It’s fear. You know what you want to do, but you’re afraid. And fear is no easy mess to untangle. It’s almost insane how much our minds control us as if they were separate entities. The moment you think about doing ‘that thing,’ the inner critic whispers right into your amygdala. The fear never goes; YOU can work on it though with practice and getting better in what you do.

So what should I do?

The thing is YOU know; but YOU’re waiting for someone to tell YOU, “It’ll work and guarantee you success“. Thus YOU are unsure OR afraid!! You already know what ‘THE thing’ is. You knew it when you were a YOUng boy/girl. Find the courage to live the life YOU want to live. Remember, you have everything you need already.

Happy 72nd Independence Day

As we all celebrate our 72nd Independence Day and shout out ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ and “Jai Hinds” let us think whether we are independent? Yes, it does invoke a sense of patriotism within us and somewhere deep down quite a few of us feel proud too.

But let me pose a question to each one of you here. Are you Independent? No, no … don’t be in a hurry to answer. Just sit back, think awhile and answer. Are you truly Independent?

Let me assist you answer that! Independence Day is a joyous occasion; think of 1947, when the nation united to celebrate the end of British reign and we got FREEDOM!!!

Freedom gives joy. The knowledge that we are free gives us that JOY!!! Think back of your first bike/car/job .. and the sense of independence; the joy. So if you are independent you should’ve been joyous, right? Are you? The answer by a majority of you is NO.

Fact is, you all are slaves. Slaves to your own habits. And these habits have become hardwired in your brains. Think of all the times you got angry/irritated. On query, invariably the answer is, he/she did this and I lost control (and got angry), his/her such and such actions irritate me so much … and at times we go to the extent to say .. he/she knows I get irritated with such an act and yet he/she did it on purpose to irritate me.

Now, let us analyze this a bit. His/her actions angered/irritated me. My peace, harmony, happiness; my very own stability was shaken and stirred by someone’s action/talk/ situation and so on. My peace/harmony/joy/happiness is dependent on his/her action. Where is the Independence? We have given the control of our stability to someone else who controls my buttons. The remote has been handed over.

Let me give you another example. So you were in a tight situation, facing your angry father and the easy way out was to lie your way through. You chose that option and were able to make a getaway. The next time the lie came easier and slowly and steadily, your brains get hard-wired. Soon, its your habit. And now the system has been short circuited. You don’t think (OR choose); your brain does it for you. YOUR FREEDOM to choose has been blanked out as the default mode now is to lie. Where is your FREEDOM?

This INDEPENDENCE DAY choose to be totally independent from your own habits. be In-dependent. IN dependent; here you are dependent on your own self; your feelings, emotions and stability. Thus you are INDEPENDENT and not dependent on others feelings/ actions/words/ situations.

Take a PLEDGE.