I dunno ’bout you, but very early in life, being from a boarding school, I got influenced with the uniformed people around us. The first competitive exam and shortly, I was donning the uniform. A number of YOU’ve asked me whether, I always wanted to be in the uniform? In hindsight, I would say, Y . E . S . I wouldn’t trade that for anything else.
Why do you all put off what you want to become?
You Already Know what YOU want to BE
A number of YOU do say, “I don’t know what to do with my life!” But deep down, you do know, ’cause with slight probing, the answer is out! YOU just don’t know it yet, OR are blind to it with excuses, rationalization, some ifs and more buts! So the problem isn’t you not knowing what to do, but something else.
Haunted by YOUr Parents’ Wishes for YOU
Your parents leave a huge imprint on your formative minds and project themselves onto you. At times, even fulfilling their unfulfilled dreams (aka Dangal). But, at times, their aspirations for YOU might not have anything to do with YOU. “I’m different!”
In “The Way of the Superior Man” (author David Deida) says “live like your father is dead.” Until you let go of your parents’ expectations for you and do what you want to do. There’s a huge difference between physically and psychologically leaving the nest. Once you accomplish both, you’re free to do what you want.
YOU Don’t Think YOU can pull it Off
If YOU were guaranteed to succeed in whatever you did, I bet you’d suddenly know what to do with your life. Our biggest problem isn’t a lack of knowledge about ourselves. It’s fear. You know what you want to do, but you’re afraid. And fear is no easy mess to untangle. It’s almost insane how much our minds control us as if they were separate entities. The moment you think about doing ‘that thing,’ the inner critic whispers right into your amygdala. The fear never goes; YOU can work on it though with practice and getting better in what you do.
So what should I do?
The thing is YOU know; but YOU’re waiting for someone to tell YOU, “It’ll work and guarantee you success“. Thus YOU are unsure OR afraid!! You already know what ‘THE thing’ is. You knew it when you were a YOUng boy/girl. Find the courage to live the life YOU want to live. Remember, you have everything you need already.
Rohit Panday says
Very nice sir. Sir I think the only problem with middle class people is not taking risk. That’s why they impose their wishes upon their children so that their child can be on a safe boat.I have not seen any people who wants their child to become next Bill gates , Elon musk ,Larry page or sergey brin.Any body can understand that an innovator with his innovation influences the whole human beings . Just like Google has brought an information revolution around the globe. Sir can you answer why this happens ?
Rohit, the ‘risk’ factor you speak of is true to a great extent. To think of it, post-independence (the top One percent educated elite gave us Independence), the middle-class got busy with the roti/kapda/makaan .. and this void was filled by ‘unwanted’ people. Thus the law breakers became our law makers. What else do you expect? Therefore, in that growth period a ‘government’ job was the most secure (only sector prevalent those days). Thus the concept of free market did not enter the psyche …. not surprising that we don’t encourage people for uncharted territories. Things surely are changing, though.
Tanmoy Banik says
Thank you so much Sir…for this sort of encouragement and thought full support cum mental motivation that we get from your blogs and writings..I have reading your mails almost everytime you send it ..but never got a chance to reply ( don’t know why) .
But thank you so much sir..will always look forward for more of your blogs..
( I hope you remember me, you may not remember me by the name but definitely may remember if you recall about your day in Tezpur university where you had a small scooty trip 😂😂)
Of course Tanmoy, remember you! Zipping around the campus on your scooty. Great to hear from you. It was a pleasure… Look forward to the next trip now. Where are you presently?