Women Issues – a Taboo Topic

Feminism in its noun form is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of equality of the sexes. It is a range of political movements, ideologies and social movements that share a common goal – to define, establish and achieve political, economic, personal and social rights for women that are equal to those of men. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

In the increased instances of atrocities against women, one major factor which stands out is the level of education amongst the victims. It is not to say that the educated are NOT harassed but the instances reduce drastically. More often than not, when uneducated, the chances are the atrocities have gone unnoticed and unreported. Cases of police refusing to write down a complaint are galore. Complaining and cribbing is NOT the solution. We, as a society, have to take up cudgels and make sure that the ‘Right to Education’ is truly implemented in letter and spirit.

Importance of Women education

It is imperative that the women be educated for various reasons and its importance is briefly summarized below:

1. Economic development and prosperity: Education will empower women to come forward and contribute towards the development and prosperity of the country.

2. Economic empowerment: So long as women remain backward and economically dependent on men, the helpless condition is prone to exploitation. Economic empowerment and independence will only come through proper education.

3. Improved life: Education helps a woman to live a good life. She can claim her identity as an individual. She can read and learn about her rights. Her rights would not get trodden down. The life/condition of women would improve.

4. Improved health: Educated girls and women are aware of the importance of health and hygiene. Through health education, they are empowered to lead a healthy lifestyle. Educated mothers can take better care of both herself and her baby.

5. Dignity and honour: Educated women are now looked upon with dignity and honour. They become a source of inspiration for millions of young girls who make them their role-models.

6. Justice: Educated women are more informed of their rights for justice. It would eventually lead to decline in instances of violence and atrocities against women such as dowry, forced-prostitution, child-marriage, female foeticide, etc.

7. Choice to choose a profession of her choice: Educated women can prove be highly successful in the fields of life. A girl-child should get equal opportunity for education, so that, she can plan to become a successful doctors, engineers, nurses, air-hostesses, cook, or choose a profession of her choice.

8. Alleviate poverty: Women education is a pre-requisite to alleviate poverty. Women need to take equal burden of the massive task of eliminating poverty. This would demand massive contribution from educated women. There cannot be much social and economic changes unless girls and women are given their rights for education.

Until the middle of nineteenth century, girls and women were educated only for traditional household works. Now, the society is witnessing changes in the role-status of women. There is greater emphasis on education girls and women in the same way as we educate boys and men. The modern-day parents want to fulfill the aspiration of their children without gender parity.

The overall position of women in society definitely will improve with better education and a general conscious effort on our part.

In the recent past a number of incidents of ‘Atrocities against Women’ has been reported by the media but the vox populi seems to have numbed. Our collective conscience seems to have gone on an Auto mode. No more the candle light marches, seen after the ‘Nirbhaya’ episode. No more raising slogans. No more student agitation. It seems to have been accepted as part of the scenery. Just passes by as you pass by life.

A law student killed in gruesome manner, very akin to Nirbhaya, in Kerala. A young girl tortured and murdered in Ahmedabad. A girl raped twice over by the same assailants. A small girl raped and made to wait at the Police Station the whole day before the complaint could be lodged (the tests need to be performed within 24 hours). Where is the fury? The rage? The Justice Verma Committee came up with several recommendations. He chiefly blamed failure of governance. Despite the Act, passed with great fervour, it doesn’t seem to have helped much.

Stalking and voyeurism are offences punishable by seven years in jail. There is not a single case of anyone put behind bars. Stalking continues. Voyeurs continue to spy. The first place to go after any incident is the Police Station. It is here that the law has to transcend from the exalted books to action. And yet it is here that we fail miserably.

The proposed Bill of Rights for Women, which would entitle women to a life of dignity and security and ensure that she has the right to complete sexual autonomy including with respect to her relationships is hardly even talked about. Fact is, as a society, somewhere we have abdicated our sense of responsibility. We are looking for some ‘Mr India’, who’ll come and sweep away all our ills. We are therefore NOT taking the onus; passing the buck and NOT standing up and are NOT being counted.

The Delhi rage should’ve pushed us for stricter and faster reforms and their implementation. But sadly we missed the bus. Public anger did not translate into action and the fury did not manifest as a law. The misogynists and criminals rampantly harass women in several ways and sadly the onus is put on the women. That she drew the ire of the assailant, she dressed skimpily, or somehow it was all her mistake.

It’ll take time to change mindsets. The law should be a deterrent. But it is a provocating thought that should get us going. A few years down the line, “it’ll be my daughter walking down the street. If the street is unsafe today, will it be safe for her tomorrow?”

If the answer is an univocal NO, then ask yourself, what are you doing about it?

 

In my 25 years in the Army, it was always drilled into us ‘Offence is the Best form of Defence’. Now, when the army takes up defensive position, it is in fact a firm base for launching an offensive. This offensive mindset is a prerequisite for any operations.

This is the mindset that all the potential victims must always possess. This can be imbibed with regular reiteration. The offensive mindset will save your life and save others’ lives too. If the sexual predator has targeted you, it is unlikely that he will leave you for your ‘good behaviour’. These people invariably are the easiest to bully. They avoid fights as it draws attention. They avoid any altercation. They avoid any kind of ‘time-wasting’. They are looking to take you to another location.

Knowing how he is thinking, gives you ample opportunities to be offensive.

Be direct, explosive and surprise him. Don’t just give a smack. Penetrate! Blast through your target. HARD. FAST. REPEATEDLY. Wield your weapons with the savage intent of a prehistoric human: SMASH the face with your elbow. Crack the ears. Use your hips to drive gut-busting knee strikes. Kick back like a MULE. Grind with your knuckles. Grab fist fulls of hair and slam down! Hammer the nose, the testicles. Bite. Stomp. Gouge. Whip your fingers at the eyes. Take charge! You get the idea. Its YOU vs the predator … YOU gotta survive!

Remember, sharp objects is to pierce and blunt objects to smash. It would be advisable to know which parts to pierce and which are good places to smash!!! I’m sure you’ll figure that out.

Remember, its you or him!!! Go for it atta girl.

Be Aware . Be Alert . Be Safe .

 

Be Alert . Be Aware . Be Safe .

Police profiled the rape victims after interacting with serial rapists. How do they “select” their victim? 10 tips … Its shared for awareness.

#1 Hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. Grab and drag. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair.

Being Followed – stalked?

One. The most common complaint that I get from girls/ladies/women during conduct of my WOSAF (Women Safety) workshop is, “so, what do we do?” Really? The first and foremost thing that we MUST do while outside is: the Number ONE thing – Get off your phone, remove the headset. You are neutralizing the most powerful systems inbuilt in you to sense danger. One can smell danger. One can feel danger. Your Amygdala! The almond shaped mass of grey matter in front of your temporal lobe of the cerebrum, is part of the limbic system. It is involved in processing and expressing emotions, instincts and survival. When your body gears up for flight, fight or freeze mode, your entire brain stops and is controlled by your amygdala!The moment you switch on the head phones, you are short circuiting the basic survival process. Your senses get numbed and your awareness of your surrounding gets impaired. Your ears are part of this ‘sensing danger’ process. Let is be. You may train for listening techniques to sharpen your instincts. But while in public, remove those plugs.

Two. Be aware of your surroundings. If you are new to the place, it would be worthwhile to check out with whomsoever you are staying with (hotel, relatives, friends) about the neighbourhood. Know in general the ATMs in your route to work/college/school/or wherever you are going – especially if it involves walking. ATMs have a 24/7 guard and could be of assistance, if required. The security camera can assist get the bad guys. Know the location of the police station, any pubs/bars/liquor dens in your route.You would know the roads/lanes to avoid after certain time. Know which street lights are non-functional in your lane. Raise a complaint.

Three. Be physically fit and mentally agile. As a routine be physically fit. It is not about being fat or thin. It is a fitness regime. Walks, runs, sits-ups, push-ups, yoga, walking up the stairs or any form or exercise which will keep you physically fit. It is an imperative. Being mentally agile involves your being quick on the thinking, buoyant, sharp, athletic. This will help you keep your wits about you during a time of crises. Knowing some self defence techniques helps but is not mandatory. A number of times I’ve been queried, whether WOSAF helps? Well, does knowing swimming prevents you from drowning? Your chances of survival increases .. similarly with WOSAF. Your chances of coming out unscathed from such situations increases.

Four. It helps if your loved ones know where you are or about your whereabouts. This is not about your privacy being intruded – we are talking about your very survival here! It is always advisable to let your friend/family know where you are going tonight and how would you return. With cabs available on a phone call away, driving after drinking is never a good option. But the issues with a cab need to be addressed before hand. Better safe and sure than regret later. While in the cab speak (in the language the driver understands) to your friend/ family about the approximate time it would take to reach, your present location and the number of the cab.

Be Alert . Be Aware . Be Safe .

 

 

Situational Awareness is the key to Women Safety. A lot of us think that, while walking, being on the phone is OK .. sorry, its not OK!! It distracts you and since you are distracted, your sensory organs (to smell danger, gut feel), is not working.

The security arrangements and privacy issues in a number of the social media sites are suspect. Sharing your address, bank details and any personal details is inviting trouble. Why should your address be known to the bad guys? Share details with caution.

When in a new place, don’t walk around with the map in hand; its a dead giveaway. Remember the route or take the public transport. When asking for directions and someone offers to show you the way by having you follow them, do not go. Just ask for them to point you in the right direction. Often, predators just want to get you to a place less crowded where your screams can’t be heard.

It is imperative that your actions in public places be discreet. The louder you are, more attention you will get, which is only making you a potential target. Look around, look confident, don’t scan the handbag for keys, and be aware of your surroundings. Drooping shoulders, forlorn and dejected look are symptoms as potential victims. Be aware. Looking around sends a message, that I can see you. If there is a police lineup, I can recognize you.

The safety of ours is our prime concern. The bad guys are looking for opportunities. We should not provide them one.

Be Alert .  Be Aware . Be Safe .